In this life you will have many acquaintances, even more associates, but very few friends. You would also be hard pressed to find that one true somebody who will love you for your good, bad, and needs improvement. We find people that tend to re-live the same relationships, that person that goes from one needy relationship or abusive relationship to another and relives them over and over again.
True, there is much to be said about the person that is on the giving side of the abuse or the neediness, but there is also much to be said about you on the receiving end. To illustrate, there are some women that will dress very provocatively or inappropriate for the environment that they are in and wonder why no one takes them seriously or why they can’t get a promotion. There is much to be said about taking responsibility for your actions.
In any area of your life, are you stuck in the same jobs? Are you attracting the same type of people into your life? Do you find yourself having the same arguments with different people? Are you living the same economic situations month-over-month? Are you continually asking God to give you same breakthrough time and again?
If your answer is “Yes” to any of these you may want to consider these things:
1. What is your role?
“Your role in what?” Everything! Everybody can’t be the pilot on the airplane. Some are workers, some are passengers. Are you the best worker that you can be? You were hired to full a role. Are you too busy trying to tell people how do their jobs that you always in a crunch to do yours? On the flip side of that coin, are you busy trying to do everyone else’s job that you allowed them to drop on your lap that you are now overwhelmed? Are you being a good wife, husband, parent, child, sibling, friend, etc.? Do you know what that role means?
2. Who do you have around you?
Someone once said to me “The truth hurts but it heals. A lie consoles but it destroys.” Do you have a bunch of “Yes people” around you? Do you have people that are wiser than you around you? Someone that truly loves you will not feel bad about hurting your feelings if it helps you. You may not want to hear what they have to say or do what they say that you must do…and that is your decision, but be careful if you have “friends” that are always on your side and it seems like you can do no wrong. Be even more careful of distancing yourself from those that give you the hard truth because the love you. Keep people around you that have been there and done that. Have people around you that want you to learn from their mistakes. They don’t have to be perfect people, just people that love you. Do you have a problem letting go? If God takes something out of your hands it is because He wants to bless you with something better. Why hold on to that tent when God has your name on the deed of a mansion?
3. Can you take criticism as well as you give it?
ALL criticism is good; be it constructive or not. Are you the person that it seems like everyone comes to you for advice and encouragement? Do you take the same advice that you give or do you just “try”? No one tries. They either do or they don’t. It is easy to go around passing judgment on others or telling others how to run their lives, but if you are not living what you say, then you have no credibility. A wise person said that “Pride cometh before the fall”. Are you too proud to take criticism? Are you too proud to say “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong” or most importantly “I am thankful for you”? Here is a thought… if you did not want their opinion or advice, why did you tell them your situation in the first place?...could it be that you knew that they were going to tell you the truth whether you like it or not?
4. What is your relationship with God?
God fills all emptiness. We find so often that if your relationship with God is off, everything in your life will be off. Do you have a poverty mindset? Are you always physically and spiritually broke? It was a very sobering fact to know that some homeless people gross over $35K per year begging, but partially because of a poverty mindset, they stay broke. Some of the wealthiest people in the world have gone bankrupt multiple times and made it rich again. How much has been poured into your life that you handled with a beggars mentality? Learn who you are and who’s you are.
5. Who is it about?
It is interesting that some of the most giving people that I know are only giving to make themselves feel good. It does help those on the receiving end, just not the giver. Does everything have to be about you? How did your friend’s new purchase of a house or a car or their new promotion become about you? Do you find yourself trying to find validation for who you are through your degrees? Do you have to keep pointing out that you have a PhD or that you hold a certain position or that you sit on certain boards? Your job? Do you need praise and validation on a constant basis are you “high maintenance”? Your friends/associates? Are you always dropping names? Your relationships? Do most of your beliefs follow the person that you are with? Are you quoting them like they are Confucius? Do you lose yourself in your relationships? It could be that because you do not know who you are as a person, you have a constant need to validate yourself by what you think others will find appealing.
So….what’s the point in all of this? The point is that if you find yourself in a cycle or pattern of relationships or events and you do nothing to change any of the factors, the pattern continues. The one variable that you can change in any situation that you are in is you. You can not make someone love you or appreciate you. You can not mold yourself into what others want you to be…everyone wants something different. The time is now to put on Stetson and “Cowboy or Cowgirl up” and take responsibility for your part in the situation. Take care of those around you that don’t tell you what you want to hear but what you need to hear. Don’t get an attitude because someone that truly loves you hurts your feelings…they were probably telling you the hurtful truth now so that you will have to experience an even bigger hurt later. Don’t get mad at God for giving you what you asked. If you ask God to remove bad people out of your life and He does…thank Him. If you ask God to show you the TRUE person that they are and they turn out to be ugly on the inside…Praise Him. Thank God for the people that He chose for you…He has better judgment. Why be a benchwarmer when you are a Star?
Just some Food for the Soul…eat well.
Clyde Corbin, II
Monday, June 8, 2009
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Call me Mr. President
From “Call me Mr. Tibbs” to Call me Mr. President
From Jim Crow to President Barack Obama… we went from Yes We Can to Yes We Did. This is a very momentous occasion, not just because we have the first African American President, but because we have a president of change. If we were to watch the reactions of not only those American supporters of Obama, but the faces of the people around the world, we would notice how much the world needs change. The faces of men and women around the world weeping with joy and excitement. The weeping faces of young and old Americans voting for the very 1st time and knowing that their voices were heard. We now see how the world needs a ray of hope and something to look forward to.
What I believe to be the most compelling point, is the fact that we as African Americans do not see the election as being the breaking of the tape as we cross the finish line, but as the opportunity to be on the starting blocks to run the race. There are a few things that we know:
1. “They” are waiting for him to make the tiniest mistake so “they” can say “I told you so.”
2. How President Obama serves the people is a direct reflection on the African American community.
3. How we act is a direct reflection on President Obama (whether we like it or not).
4. We have a lot of work to do as a people to make this country better. This will not be an instant process, but after trying to fix the mess of the previous administration and then implementing the new strategy.
The question is: What’s next? What will change? What will change in the lives and values of our inter-city youth?...only time will tell. There can be no progress without a struggle. This is the time of struggle. Fixing the problems of the Bush administration will take time. To show the level of thought of his administration, Bush congratulates Obama and tells him to enjoy it and go on vacation…wasn’t that an issue with his term? Obama goes to work…good to see an immediate difference.
We are at the point where we can tell our sons and daughters that they can be and do anything that they put their minds to. We have not only broken the color barrier, but also the excuse barrier. There is no more blaming your lack of success on your home situation. No one ever said that it would be fair or easy. They just said that it would be worth it. I see a brighter future for America. Our children are no longer just competing with the other children in their classes, school, or state. This is a global market that we are living in and they are competing in a world market. It is time that we invest in our children and in our children’s future.
This future that we are hoping for will not be given to us, but through the crucible of time and hard work it will happen. Yes we can change the world. Yes can have a piece of the American dream. Yes we can make a difference in the lives of others. Yes we can and yes we will!!
CJ Corbin, II
Ksquare7.blogspot.com
Thursday, September 4, 2008
State of the Union
The state of the union address is normally one that outlines how the United States is fairing socially, politically, and economically. I rise to address one state of our Union. This is the only time in recent years where it seems that the majority of the population cares about the election.
It does my heart good to be able to debate educatedly about the candidates. It matters not your political viewpoint...just have both a view and a point.
I must admit that it warmed my heart to have a political discussion with my 12 year old son. I think that the fact the we as Americans are very involved and concerned about who we have as our next President shows that we care about the direction this country is headed.
Get out and vote! We can change the world!!
It does my heart good to be able to debate educatedly about the candidates. It matters not your political viewpoint...just have both a view and a point.
I must admit that it warmed my heart to have a political discussion with my 12 year old son. I think that the fact the we as Americans are very involved and concerned about who we have as our next President shows that we care about the direction this country is headed.
Get out and vote! We can change the world!!
Monday, February 25, 2008
YES WE CAN!!
This is a piece written by one of my Lodge brothers, Bro. Mike Grant:
“Yes We Can” – for me personally, in my life, represent the words that were whispered into my ear by my mother as a young black boy in South Carolina raised in a single parent household. Words whispered quietly, while gently embracing my small body to offer hope to the daily challenges and obstacles that awaited me in the cold, cruel, and unfair world that I was born into especially in the geographic region of my upbringing still plagued with overt racism and constant discrimination. “Yes We Can” as a mother/son family team sacrifice and make time to live by Christian values and establish core life/work skills such as integrity, clear communication, dependability, punctuality, and reciprocity.
At night, before getting on my knees as a toddler to say my bedtime prayers, the concept of faith and hope was instilled into me. I was taught to pray without ceasing, challenged to live my life by the scripture that all we need is the faith of a mustard seed in God and he shall deliver his promise of providing all of our needs and never giving us any more than we can handle. Words do matter – words can inspire people to transcend beyond barriers, obstacles, the evil ways of people that may despise you for various reasons and want to see you fail and in despair. Words can inspire people to set forth a spirit of excellence within themselves to realize “that they do possess the change that they have been looking for” as Obama states. Once we wage the battle within ourselves to stand for excellence without excuse and let that spirit of excellence within us permeate into our daily interactions with others, how we conduct ourselves on the job, how we treat our loved ones, how we approach life challenges, how we greet those that agree and disagree with our thoughts, then we can begin to showcase our character of excellence to society. If more children were given those words of inspiration and nurturing consistently at the earliest age possible– then perhaps they would not be torn apart as often by the unfairness of school systems that try to label, marginalize, and categorize our youth into “tracks” for how they will be educated and exposed to information.
When it rains, it is extremely difficult to set a fire to a massive pile of substance. You normally must wait until the rain stops and the elements begin to clear up before a fire can be blazed, which can be summarized into the spirit of timing. Well, I and many others, have had an overwhelming down-pouring of rain in our daily lives spawned from a wide array of negative forces and unfair treatment where it seems to keep that fire from spreading into our spirit and heart to consistently strive for overall excellence. Our psychological emotions have been washed and flooded with frustration and doubt, but now…the elements of many hearts, minds, and bodies, are becoming dry from the rising sun and a new flame of energy, inspiration, and hope is getting us “fired up and ready to go” so that our internal fire to be greater than we ever hoped can burn long and shine bright for all to see. God bless us all and Obama for President!
Michael M. Grant
“Yes We Can” – for me personally, in my life, represent the words that were whispered into my ear by my mother as a young black boy in South Carolina raised in a single parent household. Words whispered quietly, while gently embracing my small body to offer hope to the daily challenges and obstacles that awaited me in the cold, cruel, and unfair world that I was born into especially in the geographic region of my upbringing still plagued with overt racism and constant discrimination. “Yes We Can” as a mother/son family team sacrifice and make time to live by Christian values and establish core life/work skills such as integrity, clear communication, dependability, punctuality, and reciprocity.
At night, before getting on my knees as a toddler to say my bedtime prayers, the concept of faith and hope was instilled into me. I was taught to pray without ceasing, challenged to live my life by the scripture that all we need is the faith of a mustard seed in God and he shall deliver his promise of providing all of our needs and never giving us any more than we can handle. Words do matter – words can inspire people to transcend beyond barriers, obstacles, the evil ways of people that may despise you for various reasons and want to see you fail and in despair. Words can inspire people to set forth a spirit of excellence within themselves to realize “that they do possess the change that they have been looking for” as Obama states. Once we wage the battle within ourselves to stand for excellence without excuse and let that spirit of excellence within us permeate into our daily interactions with others, how we conduct ourselves on the job, how we treat our loved ones, how we approach life challenges, how we greet those that agree and disagree with our thoughts, then we can begin to showcase our character of excellence to society. If more children were given those words of inspiration and nurturing consistently at the earliest age possible– then perhaps they would not be torn apart as often by the unfairness of school systems that try to label, marginalize, and categorize our youth into “tracks” for how they will be educated and exposed to information.
When it rains, it is extremely difficult to set a fire to a massive pile of substance. You normally must wait until the rain stops and the elements begin to clear up before a fire can be blazed, which can be summarized into the spirit of timing. Well, I and many others, have had an overwhelming down-pouring of rain in our daily lives spawned from a wide array of negative forces and unfair treatment where it seems to keep that fire from spreading into our spirit and heart to consistently strive for overall excellence. Our psychological emotions have been washed and flooded with frustration and doubt, but now…the elements of many hearts, minds, and bodies, are becoming dry from the rising sun and a new flame of energy, inspiration, and hope is getting us “fired up and ready to go” so that our internal fire to be greater than we ever hoped can burn long and shine bright for all to see. God bless us all and Obama for President!
Michael M. Grant
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Scaffolding
Nehemiah 6: 2-4 states:
2That Sanballat and Geshem sent unto me, saying, Come, let us meet together in some one of the villages in the plain of Ono. But they thought to do me mischief.
3And I sent messengers unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?
4Yet they sent unto me four times after this sort; and I answered them after the same manner.
Scaffolding as described by Wikipedia:
Scaffolding is a temporary framework used to support people and material in the construction or repair of buildings and other large structures. It is usually a modular system of metal pipes (termed tubes in Britain), although it can be made out of other materials. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scaffolding
This tells us that in a building of an edifice, it is necessary to have temporary support in order to fix, upgrade and also grow. When we look at the edifice our lives we have people around us who are like scaffolding. Some of them are there for longer periods of time than others, but their purpose in your life is to just be there as a support structure or as a learning tool to help you fix, upgrade, or grow.
The issue is that there are times where we don’t want to get rid of those of us that have filled the purpose that have in our lives. Albeit by death and not wanting to let go or by relationships and friendships that are like bleach…they serve a good purpose, but too much contact with it become toxic.
If we look at the passage of Nehemiah, we notice Nehemiah on the wall…building. Then there are those that see you doing a good work and want you to stop. They would have rather do you harm than to see you do good.
The real issue comes to play when we allow others to distract us. If Nehemiah had gone with them to Ono it would become a place of compromise. It would have should his weakness and lack of priority. I suggest to you today to take stock of those in your life that are scaffolding make sure that instead of getting off of that spiritual wall to place of compromise, recognize your self worth and say to those that would cause you mischief and take you to the preverbal Ono… say to them Oh NO!
Oh no…not one more night of a bad relationship.
Oh no…not one more day of feeling less than I am
Oh no…not one more day of not living up to my true potential
Oh no…not reliving past mistakes
Oh no!!!!!
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settle for.
Just a little food for the soul…eat well.
2That Sanballat and Geshem sent unto me, saying, Come, let us meet together in some one of the villages in the plain of Ono. But they thought to do me mischief.
3And I sent messengers unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?
4Yet they sent unto me four times after this sort; and I answered them after the same manner.
Scaffolding as described by Wikipedia:
Scaffolding is a temporary framework used to support people and material in the construction or repair of buildings and other large structures. It is usually a modular system of metal pipes (termed tubes in Britain), although it can be made out of other materials. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scaffolding
This tells us that in a building of an edifice, it is necessary to have temporary support in order to fix, upgrade and also grow. When we look at the edifice our lives we have people around us who are like scaffolding. Some of them are there for longer periods of time than others, but their purpose in your life is to just be there as a support structure or as a learning tool to help you fix, upgrade, or grow.
The issue is that there are times where we don’t want to get rid of those of us that have filled the purpose that have in our lives. Albeit by death and not wanting to let go or by relationships and friendships that are like bleach…they serve a good purpose, but too much contact with it become toxic.
If we look at the passage of Nehemiah, we notice Nehemiah on the wall…building. Then there are those that see you doing a good work and want you to stop. They would have rather do you harm than to see you do good.
The real issue comes to play when we allow others to distract us. If Nehemiah had gone with them to Ono it would become a place of compromise. It would have should his weakness and lack of priority. I suggest to you today to take stock of those in your life that are scaffolding make sure that instead of getting off of that spiritual wall to place of compromise, recognize your self worth and say to those that would cause you mischief and take you to the preverbal Ono… say to them Oh NO!
Oh no…not one more night of a bad relationship.
Oh no…not one more day of feeling less than I am
Oh no…not one more day of not living up to my true potential
Oh no…not reliving past mistakes
Oh no!!!!!
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settle for.
Just a little food for the soul…eat well.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Your Promise is bigger than your past…
Your Promise is bigger than your past…
One of my favorite sayings is: “It’s not that life is short, it is that people take too long to start living”. We tend to stay so focused on the past and wishing for the future that we never live in the right now. Our past is just that…past.
We tend to judge people by their past…which brings up a totally different point. If the whole is only the sum of its parts, then if we are to judge, are we judging just a few small points in the person’s past are the whole thing? It amazes me how someone could live a pretty good life and be judged by just one isolated instance. Do we (must we) always believe the worst of a person?
God has so much more in store for you than what you had in the past. Every new morning, he gives us new blessings. We need new blessings because our yesterday struggles are not our today struggles. Every new day is a another opportunity to grow and change…it is never too late to become what you should be.
I am a firm believer that life is a journey and the path that you choose and the struggles that you overcome make you stronger for the path ahead. Use that person that you used to be to become the better person that you are to get you to who you ought to be.
A bit of food for the soul…eat well
One of my favorite sayings is: “It’s not that life is short, it is that people take too long to start living”. We tend to stay so focused on the past and wishing for the future that we never live in the right now. Our past is just that…past.
We tend to judge people by their past…which brings up a totally different point. If the whole is only the sum of its parts, then if we are to judge, are we judging just a few small points in the person’s past are the whole thing? It amazes me how someone could live a pretty good life and be judged by just one isolated instance. Do we (must we) always believe the worst of a person?
God has so much more in store for you than what you had in the past. Every new morning, he gives us new blessings. We need new blessings because our yesterday struggles are not our today struggles. Every new day is a another opportunity to grow and change…it is never too late to become what you should be.
I am a firm believer that life is a journey and the path that you choose and the struggles that you overcome make you stronger for the path ahead. Use that person that you used to be to become the better person that you are to get you to who you ought to be.
A bit of food for the soul…eat well
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Mordern Day Witch Hunts ( Be wery wery quiwet...they're hunting freedom)
Witch hunts seem to never die. I know that this seems like a very strong statement to start out on a blog, but I have a very strong point to make. It seems to me that every aspect of life contains us trying to appease everybody. We can not have the 10 Commandments in or near the courthouses, but our whole legal structure is based on them and we swear/affirm (here we go again) on the Bible. In a Nation that professes to have freedom of Religion, we can no longer truly celebrate being Christians. Christmas trees are called Holiday trees. In fact, buy a Christmas stamp during that time of year…all it says is holiday. But there is no issue with Ramadan or Chanukah. Kids on a High School basketball team cannot (On their own) have a private moment of prayer…but there is freedom of religion.
What about our own personal freedoms? Do I have the right to be a Black man in America? Do I have the right to life and liberty? Can I pursue happiness without major blocks being put in my way because of the color of my skin? Can our Children go to school with out being made to feel victimized by the hanging of nooses on our trees? Can I stand up for the advancement of our people with out being hunted down on “trumped up” charges 30 years after the event? (http://www.freethesf8.org/)
We define a generation by the struggle or the cause that it endures. What does that say about our generation? Why are we fighting the same battles that our parents fought 40 years ago? Does there need to be a Black America within but without White America? What would that solve (it did NOT work for our Native American Brothers and Sisters)?
I dare rise and say that the measure and worth of a person is determined by what someone says that you are worth, but by the amount of worth that one creates for oneself. I can not let your IDEA of me become my REALITY.
A little food for the soul...eat well.
What about our own personal freedoms? Do I have the right to be a Black man in America? Do I have the right to life and liberty? Can I pursue happiness without major blocks being put in my way because of the color of my skin? Can our Children go to school with out being made to feel victimized by the hanging of nooses on our trees? Can I stand up for the advancement of our people with out being hunted down on “trumped up” charges 30 years after the event? (http://www.freethesf8.org/)
We define a generation by the struggle or the cause that it endures. What does that say about our generation? Why are we fighting the same battles that our parents fought 40 years ago? Does there need to be a Black America within but without White America? What would that solve (it did NOT work for our Native American Brothers and Sisters)?
I dare rise and say that the measure and worth of a person is determined by what someone says that you are worth, but by the amount of worth that one creates for oneself. I can not let your IDEA of me become my REALITY.
A little food for the soul...eat well.
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